Greens have no hope of abolishing pomp and pageantry of monarchy - Susan Dalgety

The Scottish Greens have promised to get rid of King Charles if they form the next UK government

So, you may not have noticed the Scottish Greens have promised to get rid of King Charles if they form the next UK government. Their co-leader Patrick Harvie says the party will abolish the “pomp and pageantry” of the British monarchy and promises that Scotland will be a republic if it becomes an independent state under the Scottish Greens.

And I will win the 100 metres gold medal at next month’s Paris Olympics. Harvie and his merry band of climate justice warriors will never be in a position to implement this, or any of their other manifesto pledges, but that doesn’t stop them promising the earth.

At least the SNP will win some seats at the general election – though likely far fewer than the 48 they won in 2010. Not surprisingly, their manifesto has independence up in lights, and leader John Swinney says if the SNP wins a majority of the 57 Scottish seats up for grabs, he will trigger independence talks.

Trouble is no-one will be listening, least of all Keir Starmer, who according to the bookies is a sure-fire bet to be Prime Minister on July 5. There will be no independence talks after the general election, except among SNP big-wigs as they work out what to do now that their core political ambition has been thwarted – again. Swinney and his Holyrood crew could always focus on fixing our NHS and improving our schools, but that may seem too much like hard work. Far easier to make unrealistic promises.

At least the Scottish Lib Dems are promising to focus on a policy that matters. Their manifesto makes a commitment to fix social care, including a wage rise for care workers. Their UK leader Ed Davey doesn’t have a chance of becoming PM, but Scottish chief Alex Cole-Hamilton could form a coalition government with Scottish Labour following the 2026 Holyrood elections, so his social care promise may yet be fulfilled.

Which brings me to Scottish Labour. Their leader Anas Sarwar takes his cue from UK Labour, so it’s not surprising that fixing the economy is at the heart of his pledge to voters. Sarwar may not be promising heaven on earth, but as he said last week when launching his manifesto, it is better to under-promise and over-deliver than break trust by committing to policies that will never happen. Patrick Harvie take note.

I almost forgot the Scottish Conservatives. With polls predicting a wipeout on a scale unimaginable even a year ago, it seems hardly worth bothering what Douglas Ross, who resigned as leader a few days into the campaign, has to say. The party published its rural manifesto last week at the Royal Highland Show, promising a “new deal” for farmers, but with many farmers saying they will vote Labour, it seems the Tories are wasting their time. I almost feel sorry for them.