THERE are few things – apart from the Wii, football and his bike – that my eight-year-old loves more than systematically demolishing my kitchen.
He'll happily chop vegetables, reach for the herbs and create mayhem, leaving a dusty trail of flour and clutter in his wake.
Unfortunately when it comes to following a proper recipe and eating what he's made – that's a different story.
And fr
ankly, having been forced to consume his pasta with ketchup and cheddar cheese, mixed with raw onion topped with cinnamon and declare it as "mmm, really yummy", I can't blame him for not wanting to indulge in his own creations.
At least he shows some interest in where food comes from, unlike his younger sibling who is under the impression that the freezer is the font of all nourishment, that chickens are nugget shaped and sausages are one of the recommended five-a-day. Does that make me happy? Of course not.
While I try to convince myself that my house is probably just as chaotic as the next working mum's, I constantly carry the guilt of being a rubbish parent, of failing my children's dietary needs by occasionally handing them a Happy Meal and not presenting them every mealtime with a homemade extravaganza.
So when at the weekend the Westminster government issued new "shock" television adverts warning that parents are slowly killing their children through poor diet and that 90 per cent of children are heading for weight problems, then naturally my guilt-o-meter zooms off the scale.
There's a dash to the kitchen for a cooking frenzy, lunchboxes are monitored, treats banned. If I'm not counting up the five-a-day, I'm checking for citric acid in juice, sugar and salt content in cereals and snacks and reeling at the amount of saturated fat in a lunchbox Cheestring (each contains a sixth of a child's daily recommended maximum saturated fat intake, since you ask).
Of course it's our fault if our children get lardy and lazy, arteries clogged by saturated fat and hyperactive on too much sugar. Right?
And with 22 per cent of Lothian children classed as overweight, obese or severely obese in their first year at school – slightly above the national average – we're clearly already making mistakes in what we feed our children and the amount of exercise they take to burn it off.
But if parents stand accused of fattening their children for an early grave, then isn't it time that the people who produce food aimed at youngsters, package it with the latest kids' TV favourite, then claim it's good for them when it's not, share a little of the blame?
Restrained by new laws over what they can show on children's television, some now focus on mum and dad's growing concerns for their youngsters' diets, with claim after often misleading claim extolling how healthy their products are. Those staples of kids' advertising time cheese triangles and sugary cereals now hit the screens with grown-up emphasis on how they'll help build healthy bones, but not a word about their sugar or salt content.
Salty pasta sauces are pushed on mid-morning television and calorie laden pizzas appear relentlessly on prime-time Saturday evenings. Chips are even marketed as "all good" thanks to the fact they contain only potatoes and – oh yes, fat.
Last month, the British Heart Foundation accused advertisers of tapping into parents' fears for their children's health, focusing on what they say is positive about their product but glossing over what is less healthy.
The charity warned misleading and selective marketing along with spurious health claims are used to promote food typically aimed at children which is high in fat, sugar and salt.
Of course smart parents should see past the cynical advertising. But with 150,000 adults in the Lothians classed as clinically obese, clearly many are failing to find their way down the healthy eating route.
What hope do we have if confronted by adverts that claim that this cheerfully packaged product will help build bones, but which fails to point out that it will also help burst waistbands, when "healthy" yoghurts contain more sugar than a slice of cake and fruit drinks come stamped "no added sugar" but with enough citric acid to burn a hole in the carpet?
When it all comes wrapped up in a Ben 10 or High School Musical packet balancing the right choices with what the children will actually eat along and our own desire to make them happy, all adds up to one massive parent trap.
Most parents don't need to be told that the food we give our children is vital to their well-being and health. And we didn't take on this job to intentionally raise fat children on the countdown to an early grave.
But perhaps the time has come for the people who produce food directly aimed at young people and who profit handsomely from it, to share a little of the blame.
No tears on my FACEJust before Christmas I was privileged to join Edinburgh cancer charity FACE on their annual trip to Lapland with some desperately ill children.
I headed off expecting an emotionally draining day of tears and sorrow. The truth is, I hardly stopped grinning the whole day.
The charity volunteers gave the children a day full of laughter and Christmas magic – at the same time caring for their difficult medical needs in often very challenging environments. It was a humbling, uplifting and inspiring experience.
