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Published Date: 25 September 2008
IF you have ever wondered when the Regimental Ratatouille is or what time the One O'Clock Gun goes off then rest assured you're not alone.
These were today revealed as just some of the questions asked at Tourist Information Centres (TICs) in Edinburgh by confused, misguided or just plain daft tourists.

Some of the questions come up so often that Visit Scotland has compiled a list to
help staff guide tourists in the right direction in the least humiliating way possible.

The list is kept under the counter at the Waverley TIC, and includes some other gems like 'What do they do with the Castle when the Festival is over?'; 'Can I take an open top bus to Inverness?' and 'Is the moon in New Zealand the same moon I see in Scotland?'.

James Lakie, external relations executive at Visit Scotland, said that while the list was certainly amusing it also served a purpose for staff.

"We do have a bit of a laugh over the list but when you think of some of things you would ask when you land in a strange city like Barcelona or Madrid for the first time you kind of have a bit of sympathy for the people who asked these questions.

"Some of it is just down to a plain misunderstanding of geography. Some tourists think Scotland is an hour's walk from end to end, so in that context questions like, 'Is that Edinburgh or Stirling Castle up there?', or 'Can I book a day trip to Orkney or Shetland?' don't seem that silly.

"Come to think of it, you probably could book a day trip to Shetland if you timed the flights right, but you wouldn't have time to see very much."

Parts of the list do stand up to such scrutiny, and a question like 'Can I use Scottish notes in England?' doesn't seem so strange to anyone who has had money turned away by English shopkeepers.

However, some parts of the list do stretch the bounds of logic, such as "Isn't it convenient that they built the Castle so close to the train station!" or "Is there an animal called a haggis and where can I find one?".

Mr Lakie added: "These ones do seem unforgivable and it is tempting to laugh, but we don't want to cause offence so instead we'll use a question like 'Why didn't they build the Castle closer to the airport?' to explain to people just how old Scotland is and its history.

"Some people do actually believe the haggis is an elusive Loch Ness monster -type creature, and we're often reluctant to correct them so that they'll actually go out and try it. When we were out in New York for Tartan Week we did blind tastings and the Americans loved it . . . until we told them what was in it."


TOP TEN REMARKS
1.What time is the One O'Clock Gun?
2. Is the moon I see in New Zealand the same moon I see in Scotland?
3. When is the Regimental Ratatoullie? (referring to the Military Tattoo)
4. Isn't it convenient how they built the Castle so close to the train station!
5. An American gentleman asked: "Isn't there, like, a massive oil refinery at the top of England?"
6. I'd like to visit the Royal Yacht Britannia. What time does the cruise begin?
7. Can I use the stamps I bought in Lancaster to send postcards from Scotland?
8. How often does the Castle go on the market?
9. An older American couple once asked staff to bless them.
10. Which bus will take me to the top of Arthur's Seat and where is the chair itself?




The full article contains 632 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
Page 1 of 1

  • Last Updated: 25 September 2008 11:38 AM
  • Source: Edinburgh Evening News
  • Location: Edinburgh
  • Related Topics: Edinburgh Castle
 
1

married to a teacher,

Edinburgh 25/09/2008 12:35:21
Whilst working in a tartan shop one summer I was asked for a photo of the castle rock before the castle was built!
2

Daft Old Git,

25/09/2008 12:37:46
"We do have a bit of a laugh over the list but when you think of some of things you would ask when you land in a strange city like Barcelona or Madrid for the first time you kind of have a bit of sympathy for the people who asked these questions.
(Love to follow Mr Lakie to Spain for a laugh)
3

yorkshirepudding,

hfx 25/09/2008 12:42:18
talking of tourists - I'm headed up there next weekend and looking for a good local pub with a band on. Canongate cadgers are playing at the merlin but was looking for something more in the centre... Any help please?
Friday 3rd october. Got the other evenings sorted!
Thanks in advance.
4

Edinburgh Ian,

Edinburgh 25/09/2008 12:48:18
Want to know the strangest questions asked by Edinburgh tourists?

Something to do with the trams perhaps. Will any tourists really want to come back after seeing most of the city centre in chaos?
5

Wull The Champ,

Sunny Leith 25/09/2008 12:48:53
Yank tourist to tour guide: Why do you get the beeping sound when the green man shows at the pedestrian crossings?

Tour Guide: That's to let blind people know when the lights have changed!

Yank: What? They let blind people drive over here?
6

Law Abider,

hot seat 25/09/2008 12:49:40
A friend of mine was once asked for directions to the "Military Taboo"........!
7

Fluffy,

edinburgh 25/09/2008 12:59:58
American tourist to hotel receptionist: 'Do you sell stamps?'

hotel receptionist to American Tourist: 'Does the Post Office sell beds?'
8

Nell,

The Preservation Hall 25/09/2008 13:07:32
Many years ago I worked in the ice cream kiosks at Edinburgh Zoo. I was once asked if I had any giraffe food for sale.
9

PDubbs,

25/09/2008 13:19:01
An twenty something American tourist asked me if Arthurs Seat was still active.
10

alex patersons English teacher,

25/09/2008 13:21:35
I once went to iceland and asked for directions to see the local geezer.

Manager through me out his shop.
11

Mr I Raitt,

of Leith 25/09/2008 13:30:44
True Story: American tourist asks barmaid for a whisky? 'Which one?' she replies. "The one with the chicken on it" he says (Famous Grouse). True story I promise you.
12

Elle-vesse,

Edinburgh 25/09/2008 14:11:36
I once overheard two Americans in a pub asking if the scotch pie came with cream!
13

Boy Wonder,

25/09/2008 14:27:11
When I was a kid, I heard an American on a bus ask the conductor to be told when the bus arrived at Wash up. This got everyone looking bemused until someone realised he meant Wauchope in the Niddries.

Mind you, that's only slightly better than the reporter and Arts Editor who called the area Walker, a couple of years ago! Except they lived in the city!
14

Uncle Piehead,

Pie Land 25/09/2008 14:34:26
Not liking the yankee stereotypes here, like UK people aren't stupid abroad eh?
Anyway I heard this dumb american asking where he could get Marilyne McClaren's autograph "Cuz like wasn't she the manager of Sid Vicious and the Pistols"
15

Grumpy,

25/09/2008 14:39:04
Reminds me of the old Bill Barclay joke about an american tourist who commented to an Edinburgh local "Gee, this place must be the asshole of Britain", to which the local replied "Are you just passing through, sir?"
16

Party Goer,

edinburgh 25/09/2008 14:41:11
I was once asked where Princess St was, and where is the Castle?

All this while we were STANDING on Princess St opposite the Castle.
17

Boy Wonder,

25/09/2008 14:42:43
And where IS Princess Street, #16 Part Goer??
18

Uncle Piehead,

Pie Land 25/09/2008 14:43:10
Polis"This is a one way street. Did ye no see the arrows"
Yank in hire car "Arrows? I never even seen the Injuns!"
19

Drop Out Law Student,

Sitting on the Skeptical Seat 25/09/2008 14:44:00
Mmm... I am doubtful over some of these... some are urban legends which have grown up from pub conversations and become myths. Some, you will find different versions of in different part of the world and I have lived in dozens of countries outside Europe so I am well aware of them.

I am always extremely suspicious of any sentence that begins along the lines of - "There was an American xxxx... blah, blah...

1.What time is the One O'Clock Gun? TOTAL MYTH AND YOU WILL USUALLY FIND IT PRECEDED WITH "THERE WAS AN AMERICAN..." EVERY COUNTRY I HAVE VISITED OVER 20 YEARS HAS A VERSION OF THIS ONE RELATING TO SOME TOURIST ATTRACTION.

2. Is the moon I see in New Zealand the same moon I see in Scotland? NEVER HEARD OF IT - THE MOON IS MADE OF CHEESE ANYWAY AND REPLACED DAILY AFTER THE SPACE MICE EAT IT SO IT DOESN'T MATTER.

3. When is the Regimental Ratatoullie? (referring to the Military Tattoo) MORE INTERESTING IS WHY THE TATTOO IS CALLED THE TATTOO - ITS LINKED TO THE BODY ART FAR MORE DIRECTLY THAN PEOPLE IMAGINE!

4. Isn't it convenient how they built the Castle so close to the train station! - URBAN MYTH - YOU WILL HEAR VARIATIONS ON THIS ONE EVERYWHERE FROM EDINBURGH TO LONDON TO CAPETOWN, HONG KONG, KL, MELBOURNE (THEY HAVE TRAMS THAT WORK!), SYDNEY, ALL OVER LATIN AMERICA(BUT IN SPANISH AND PORTUGUESE) AND BACK TO EDINBURGH

5. An American gentleman asked: "Isn't there, like, a massive oil refinery at the top of England?" TRUE - ITS CALLED SCOTLAND!

6. I'd like to visit the Royal Yacht Britannia. What time does the cruise begin? DON'T KNOW/DON'T CARE

7. Can I use the stamps I bought in Lancaster to send postcards from Scotland? DITTO

8. How often does the Castle go on the market? URBAN LEGEND - NORMALLY PREFIXED WITH "THIS AMERICAN/THIS AMERICAN COUPLE....

9. An older American couple once asked staff to bless them. WELL, THEY HAD JUST SNEEZED!

10. Which bus will take me to the top of Arthur's Seat and where is the chair itself? NO
20

THE BPRENTICE,

25/09/2008 15:14:50
I've been asked by an American Tourist "Can you tell me where Arnold Seat is" ... I felt like saying 'ask Fonzie'.
21

alex patersons English teacher,

25/09/2008 15:30:11
20.
for arthurs seat i always take the time to find a tolado, ibiza or altea.

They still seam dissapointed.
22

Caitlin Thenew,

Traprain 25/09/2008 15:32:40
Not only the Yanks or the tourists! One English newsreader once announced that the "Kinkerdeen" Bridge was closed....
23

Stan1,

Edinburgh 25/09/2008 15:35:53
umm #4 (Edinburgh Ian). I know this is supposed to be a funny article, but I just have to respond to you.

Have you never ever been on holiday and there have been roadwork's or building works going on somewhere? Do you really think that tourists are so thick that they will tell everyone they know that Edinburgh is just one big building site? Yes, Edinburgh is currently a bit of a mess, but come on - the whole tram debate is just getting out of hand. I recently met someone who had never been to Edinburgh before and he had just spent two days wandering around. Do you know what he said to me first of all? He said "you live in such a stunning city". Didnt even mention the trams!
24

Drop Out Law Student,

no idea but i am going somewhere else soon 25/09/2008 15:36:39
20 - That is, at worst, nothing more than a slip of the tongue by someone unfamiliar with the local area or place names or pronunciation - or all three.

I remember living in Syracuse in New York a few years ago when I was taking 5 years off to travel around the world and having about three different versions of Syracuse before getting it right. I'm sure that made a few people laugh - hell, there might even be someone sitting in NY right now writing a comment on a news web page commenting on my poor pronunciation and starting her sentence with "There was a Scottish guy..."
25

calum,

25/09/2008 15:58:53
"Excuse me, Constable, can you tell me where the nearest boozer is?"
"Aye, yer talkin' tae him"
TRUE.
26

Andrew,

25/09/2008 16:00:11
AND why isn't there a tram to the Castle or from the Castle down to Holyrood etc etc? Mmmmmmmm!
27

Andrew,

25/09/2008 16:05:22
Totally different place but similar story.
Picture the scene, the National Railway Museum, York.
An American tourist was enthralled at the replica of
"Stephenson's Rocket" and in a loud drawl he exclaimed, "I wonder who this Stephenson guy wazzz!"
28

A Mrs,

edinburgh 25/09/2008 16:09:30
even in scotland some people dont know how to pronounce scottish names. the birthplace of the scottish saltire athelstaneford has 3 ways to pronounce it athel-stanford, athelstan-ford or athelstaneford no wonder some tourists get confused.
29

gordon aka smoker and proud,

edinburgh 25/09/2008 16:22:22
absolutely true (with written evidence should it be required)
as a coach driver guide, coming from st.andrews to edinburgh with a coach load from america (and a total pain in the butt behind me all the way) i was using a pedastal mike, which picked his voice up as well! every time i spoke he questioned me and it was heard. the other passengers told me and they were fed up with him.(texan,wore a stetson everyday etc!)so we were driving through the country lanes as such through fife (being a fifer i know the roads) coming up to kingskettle (not really much to say about thet area other than) ladies and gentlemen,on the left we have one of the newest co-operatives, farming, and you can see in the fields there are people picking potatoes,thats how we do it over here, a tractor turns the earth over and brings the potatoes to the surface and then they are hand picked, they are then put into baskets,another tractor and trailor comes up and the baskets are emptied into them,(voice from the back again!) hey gordon,what do ya call that green stuff? (answer) grass sir!!!!!!!!!!!!! then i went on to say if you look to the left now you will see where the potatoes are stored, in the large boxes stacked beside the hedge, to that...again! interuption, hey gordon back home in texas our potatoes are 3 times that size, to that i quickly responded, yes sir, we are the same her we grow our potatoes to fit our mouths as well....(ouch...not a very big tip from him ...lmao but more from everyone else) and i got 5 letters to prove that 1 and it happened in 1988
30

Andrew,

25/09/2008 16:28:47
32) Then there's Milngavie, Kirkcudbright, Culross Ravenstruther, Strathaven, Cardross by Dumbarton (CARDross & NOT CardROSS in a "posh voice" like COOruss/Culross above) Kilconquhar (Kineuchar) etc etc etc etc etc
31

valleyjim,

25/09/2008 16:29:03
#28. The SCOT was quite correct, There was a moat around the castle. And the area where the moat was still exists. If you don't know about it shut the fek up.
32

bumf,

25/09/2008 16:29:38
In the bar of the Tufted Duck Hotel in St Coombs, Fraserburgh, the following conversation was overheard between a deeply Doric barmaid and two visitors from somewhere south of Watford.

"Fit are you boys hae’in then?"
"Do you have any real ale?"
"Ahinny," came the reply.
"Good. Then we’ll have two small whiskies and two halves of the Ahinny."
33

valleyjim,

25/09/2008 16:44:42
#28. Not surprised that you only worked briefly at the castle. Your ignorance would have contributed to your demise.
34

festerlehearts,

25/09/2008 16:56:23
once heard the story of the scots monument being sold to a rich billionaire in america ...it was goin to be shipped over to america and rebuilt some where in the states ,,,you can tell tourist anything ////ha ha
35

The Geniune Mario Antionette,

25/09/2008 17:07:44
#28 - you worked briefly at the Castle before you were found out & given your P45.
36

The Geniune Mario Antionette,

25/09/2008 17:08:35
#33- its 'cos of you, ya eejit.
37

The Geniune Mario Antionette,

25/09/2008 17:09:23
#40 - This is no joke. You can get help you know.
38

The Geniune Mario Antionette,

25/09/2008 17:10:16
#41 - Stop it. Bring back the discussion on prams.
39

gorgeousgorgieboy,

Edinburgh 25/09/2008 17:14:14
American tourist looking at "Oor Wullie" book asked shop assistant what the book was about. "Siamese twins", he said.
40

Grumpy,

25/09/2008 18:19:03
(32) You forget the fourth pronunciation of athelstaneford - and it's the way the locals call it - "elsinford"
41

Scythia,

25/09/2008 18:34:56
Here's the stupidist question I was asked ..standing in Glasgow city centre..

"Where's the main road ? "
42

Bob Marley The Wailer,

edinburgh castle 25/09/2008 21:22:30
drop out law student....get a life....urban myths or not,whats sad is you actually took the time to email and try and debunk them all with your wisdom......like we care...get alife or a job,you drop out!!!
43

THE BPRENTICE,

25/09/2008 22:25:42
#21 yeah, know what you mean ... gotta SEAT to believe it I suppose?
44

googler,

25/09/2008 22:31:28
#45 - the nor loch was man-made? Shurely not... who pumped the water in?
45

THE BPRENTICE,

25/09/2008 22:40:17
24 Drop Out Law Student - agree the person shouldn't be stoned to death for the slipup...but I'm not sure how you can get Syracuse wrong 3 different ways? ... mind you I've never been able to take 5 years off to travel around the world ... WTF!? ... are you

a) filthy rich?
b) of the romany travelling persuasion?
c) on the run from the law?
d) all of the above?

One that makes me giggle is a mate from school who now lives in Minesota USA told me (he was over there attending a drum school where Princes drummer would lecture and he ended up marrying a girl from there): he has a quick mumbly Edinburgh accent and was in New York asking for a doughnut (probably pronunced doh-nuh by him really quickly) and the lady serving kept saying in a broad loud New York accent "You want
TUNA? - then it was:

my pal "doh-nuh"
the lady "tooona?
multiplied by about 20 times at louder volumes

... he got his doh-nuh in the end.

I've een in motorway services when a mate with a broad Falkirk accent asked the shop assistant for a 'cake of aero' and the lady said .." I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish" - the rest of the boys burst out laughing!! If said quickly it does sound Spanish.
46

Matt there,

somewhere 25/09/2008 23:00:13
Fluffy, most decent hotels DO sell stamps. Some even sell postcards to put them on!
47

Uncle Piehead,

3.141597268 26/09/2008 01:07:06
Some eejit american once asked a Big Isse seller the way to Pumpherston.
The Big Issue seller said "Y'all better try it lyin down, dawg. If ye staun it'll banjax yer knees"
48

Ian down under,

Musselburgh 26/09/2008 04:38:58
The Americans are the worst.
I was working in Holyhead, North Wales at the ferry terminal for Ireland a few years ago and had to deal with an American couple who had been on a bus tour from London. They had been in Wales for 4 days when I met them. When I asked them what they planned to do in Ireland they said "we want to go and see Wales." I said you're in Wales now. The man looked at me a bit strange and said" Gee, really . I thought Wales was a town in Ireland."
49

Ian down under,

Musselburgh 26/09/2008 04:42:20
What's it like inside the castle. I've never been in it nor Holyrood. Any more locals who've not 'done' the sights?
50

Vandala,

26/09/2008 10:26:25
Q. What does an Edinburgh person use for contraception?
A. Their personality.
51

THE BPRENTICE,

26/09/2008 16:09:08
54 Ian down under - yep a large proportion of Americans don't have a passport and haven't travelled anywhere - but you'd think the travelling yanks would have studied a map or two?

I remember being in Cairns airport with my wife waiting to fly to Brisbane and I ended up chatting to an older American couple -

the lady asked "where are you from"
I said "Edinburgh" (thinking that if she'd found her way to Cairns airport, she'd probably traveleed to Europe, so I didn't mention where Edinburgh was)
the lady then asked "that's in Germany right?"
I've got a twisted sense of humour and I found this really funny and had to finish laughing (for quite a bit) until I could say no it's above England ... you know Scotland ... the United Kingdom.

...I think she took offence at me laught AT her

... mind you instead of taking offence she should have taken a Geography class.
52

Special Ed,

Colorado 26/09/2008 19:21:42
I've heard from an Aussie friend that Yank tourists can be a royal pain. But I hope you all do realize that there are some of us Yanks that thoroughly research the places they travel to. I've spent the past 8 months reading everything I can get my hands on regarding Scottish culture and history (including, as my presence here suggests, newspapers for each area I'll be visiting) so I won't look like a total git next week when I'm there. Some of us even pride ourselves on not being typical "American" tourists (you know the kind I'm talking about).

That being said...keep on with the American tourist jokes...just don't expect us all to be dim-witted, dead in the head pains in the backside because some of us might disappoint you :)

Cheers!
53

Uncle Piehead,

Brampton, Ontario 27/09/2008 00:03:25
#58 - you're about as American as gin in teacups/ leaves on the lawn/ down in Albion, mate.
54

Caitlin Thenew,

Traprain 27/09/2008 11:02:47
#32. You might have missed out the 'Elshinferd' variation... ;-)
55

Special Ed,

Colorado - apparently NOT in the USA 29/09/2008 18:47:55
#59 - Is "thank you" the proper way for me to respond? For 40 years I've thought I was an American and now I find out I'm not. Gee...I hope Homeland Security doesn't figure it out lol ;-)

 

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