CAN there be anything more shattering to your self-confidence and self-belief than discovering that the man you love, the man with whom you decided to spend your life, is not the person you thought they were at all? And not just because he managed to hide his passion for matchstick model-making or a massive collection of Commando magazines until after you were down the aisle.
Perhaps women are more willing to take things at face value or are less willing to have the scales fall from their eyes. Whatever it is, it does seem that it is always the wife who ends up as the deluded "victim" when reality bites. Certainly in the
last few weeks it is women who have had to face up to the hard fact that the man in their lives is not what they thought.
Rosemarie Fritzl and Sally Griffiths are a world apart, but both are now coming to terms with the truth of the matter – that their husbands were able to act in ways which they would never have though possible. Fritzl's case, which has left the world horrified, is obviously extreme. What Griffiths is going through, is sadly more commonplace. But both have had their faith in their partners and the lives they built with them, destroyed.
Of course, Edinburgh South MP Nigel Griffiths is not the first politician to indulge in sleazy extra-marital sex romps – but I have to admit I'd never have thought I'd write a sentence about him that included the "r" word.
He's a man who has based his career on being clean cut (despite a scandal over expenses, and what's new there for a politician?) able to turn on a boyish charm for his elderly constituents, and who could sometimes almost come across as being slightly camp. He has also been known to dye his hair.
But he has always been incredibly politically astute. He has, after all, held on to his seat for 22 years, despite it becoming increasingly marginal.
So for him to invite a woman to his oak-panelled offices in Westminster for a sex session – and get caught – seems truly out of character.
No doubt Sally Griffiths, his wife of 30 years, who is now said to be staying with friends, is as bewildered about this apparent change of personality as his supporters in the Labour Party must be.
But he'll have to come up with something better than having "little recollection" of events if she – and they – are to forgive him. There is talk that he won't be de-selected as Labour candidate for the seat in the next election, but that decision surely must rest on what Sally decides.
If she can forgive him, perhaps the electorate can too, if not . . . then there will undoubtedly be a few potential candidates waiting in line to fill his shoes – if not his peccadilloes.
It will, of course, be hard for Sally Griffiths to come to a decision while dealing with the fall-out of her husband's persuasions in the public eye, but it's not any easier for those who are doing so behind closed doors.
A friend of mine is currently wrestling with the horrific fact that her husband has been downloading child pornography on their home computer. He is now awaiting sentence. But, it turns out, he was already on the sex offenders' register and has been in jail previously for a similar offence – before they were married, admittedly, but even then they were partners.
It is almost incomprehensible to imagine that she would be with a man who would do such a thing, but she is.
She has forgiven him once, but he's trespassed against her and their marriage again. She believes that they can work through it, as long as he gets help.
Delusion can be taken too far though – just ask Rosemarie Fritzl.
Cost of a stags cullStag and hen parties are coming in for some stick again with city centre residents complaining that legal loopholes allow people to rent out their homes on a short-term basis, i.e. a weekend, to large groups celebrating forthcoming nuptials.
As a result, the noise in the wee small hours of the morning is horrendous for those who live there on a permanent basis.
But there are two problems with any potential crackdown on such weekend lets.
One, that there's nothing remotely illegal about anyone renting their house out for a few days if they so desire (unless the taxman doesn't know about it), and two, given that Edinburgh is still to be hit by the worst effects of the banking crisis and the resulting impact on the local economy, the cash spent by stags and hens might be the only thing keeping our city's pubs, restaurants and clubs going in the near future.
The city will have to think extremely carefully about "banning" weekend tourists who are happy to spend cash.
