Go on.. you can grin and bare it - look good semi-naked

WE all start off with the best of intentions. To look better. To feel better. Perhaps making that ex feel a pang of regret as he sees you looking hot at a mutual friend's wedding is your motivation. Or fitting into that size ten bikini and strutting your stuff along the beach – without wobbling.

No matter the reason, when summer is fast approaching we all want to look our best.

And so you committed to pounding the treadmill three times a week at the gym and always choosing the healthier option at mealtimes. Yet, as good as your intentions have been, work has been stressful, deadlines have meant you've missed that gym class – or you're too knackered to go. The house needs cleaned, the family need some quality time, friends need a catch up . . . and before you know it your gym priorities have had to be shelved. Then, out of nowhere, summer's here.

With a beach holiday only a matter of weeks away, it's normal for the female population to go into panic mode. But it doesn't need to be like that. You can look good semi-naked. In fact, you can look good naked. And there's not a gym session or faddy diet in sight.

It boils down to regaining control – accepting who you are and learning to love what you've got. It's about finding your confidence, as this is so much more powerful and effective than any weight loss programme. Sure you could start drastic diets, but all those pounds will inevitably just pile back on again, which is not a healthy way to look or deal with weight loss. So it's time to work with what you have – and realise that what you have is brilliant. And this can be done in five easy steps.

1. IT DIDN'T WORK THEN
The first step to body confidence is acceptance. The acceptance that what you've tried before hasn't been successful because, if it had been, you would not still be feeling so unhappy. If it was successful then you would be at ease with your weight, your figure and love the body you're in.

A great quote from Tony Robbins explains it perfectly: "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."

It's time to accept your body past, and learn that it's time to move on. While your sister or friend may be able to fit into a size eight dress even after scoffing a whole box of Pringles, you cannot. Nor may you be the type of person to eat a bowl of cabbage soup and see the pounds fall off. So stop letting it consume your life and move on.

2. UNDERSTAND YOUR BODY
Part of body acceptance is understanding your body and coming to terms with the shape you are. There is no point in being unrealistic about how you want your body to look.

There are four common shapes female bodies come in. Firstly, there's pear-shaped. Women with narrow shoulders, wide hips, thighs and bottoms are all classified as pears. Apples are those women who are top heavy, with a larger bust and tummy but thin legs. Then there's the hourglass shape – those with curvaceous hips and bust, and with a small waistline. And then there's the tube. Generally, these are quite boyish types, with few curves.

Once you have identified your body shape then you can start to dress accordingly in fabrics and materials which will flatter. No-one looks good in ill-fitting clothes and it's only the women who work with what they've got that look great, irrespective of dress size.

Any personal shopper worth their shoes will be able to help you identify your body shape. Or simply stand in front of the mirror in your bedroom and have a good look at your silhouette. Once you've come to grips with what you've been blessed with, start shopping for it when it comes to your holiday wardrobe, your lingerie and even your bikini. Yes, there are bikini rules for body shapes and following them makes for a more confident – and slimmer-looking – you.

3. WORK IN THE NOW
We constantly dissect the past, analysing what we would have done, said or worn differently. And we put off what we could do today until tomorrow.

Yet the cold and hard truth of the matter is that the only true and valid moment we have is this very one we are in right now. We can't go back and rewrite the past and we can't go into the future and live out our dreams because they simply haven't arrived yet. So what you can do is take that event that is making you anxious and use that as a motivator to accepting yourself in this moment. Use it as the catalyst to get you back to exercising a couple of times a week.

Think of how it will make you feel right now to know you're working towards self acceptance and of how you will feel on the day of the event. While you may not become that perfect size you want, in time you will feel a heck of a lot better about yourself. And that is half the battle.

4. VISUALISE, VISUALISE AND VISUALISE SOME MORE
Take time out every day, whether at the start or the end of the day or both, to close your eyes and think about the event. Completely immerse yourself in the event – see what you will see, hear what you hear, feel what you feel and say what you say.

Maybe you visualise someone complementing you on your fabulous dress choice or maybe it's you looking at the final stage of you getting ready in the mirror and thinking "wow". Go over the event putting in every single detail – leave nothing out. The more you do this the more powerful the message it sends to your mind and to your body.

5. THE GOOD LIST
Take time out to list all the amazing qualities that you have on a piece of paper. You can do it over a couple of days or just add bits and pieces every now and then. Then ask your loved ones if they will write a list of all your amazing qualities that they see in you.

The chances are that they will have listed qualities that you didn't even rate about yourself or didn't even know you had.

Either way, it will do wonders for your self acceptance and confidence.

Pauline McLeod is director of Tres Bon Coaching and a leading motivational coach. For a consultation call 07784-550 278 or e-mail info@tresboncoaching. org.uk. Her workshop How To Look Good (Semi) Naked is on tonight, 7pm. To register simply telephone the number above.

LIGHTEN THE HOLIDAY LOAD WITH OUR TOP TIPS FOR QUICK-FIX WEIGHT LOSS
IT is possible to drop 10lbs before you go on holiday. In fact, it is also possible to perk up and increase that chest, slim that midriff, reduce those bingo wings and lengthen those legs without the surgeon's scalpel. It can all be done in an instant too. It boils down to posture. So loosen up and walk taller – not only will you look more graceful and confident but also taller, more lithe and svelte, and your back will thank you.

• Create a slimmer-looking stomach by reducing bloating. Avoid caffeine, fizzy drinks including carbonated water, rice, bread, pasta, salts and saturated foods. Drink lots and lots of water. Gorge on celery, watermelon, parsley, asparagus and other natural foods with high water content, as well a fibre and fruits high in potassium.

Within as little as three days you'll look and feel slimmer – up to half a stone slimmer – and that muffin top will have shrunk.

• Do as Gok Wan recommends – get a fake tan. A tanned body is instantly slimming and "double dipping" – where certain problem areas are tanned twice – can create the illusion of instant weight loss of up to half a stone.