COMING to terms with the loss of a much-loved pet is never easy, whether their death was sudden and unexpected or a decision made by owners after a long illness.
Many people are surprised or even embarrassed at the depth of feeling they experience following the death of their pet, but pets can leave a void in an owner’s life much the same as that left following the death of a human friend or relative.
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rt McMorrow, a senior veterinary surgeon at the PDSA Pet Aid Hospital in Edinburgh, explains: “Lots of people feel embarrassed if they cry over the loss of a pet, but pets are a big part of the family so it would be more strange if they didn’t feel upset.”
A beloved pet can be more a valued member of the family than just a companion, and the PDSA says it is important for people to express their feelings after losing such an important part of their everyday life.
Stuart says: “One lady had lost a dog. She was quite elderly and it was her only family.
“We got her to write down five good things about the dog and it sounds cheesy but writing down some happy memories really helped her.
“My advice would be keep remembering them. Don’t focus on the negatives but remember happy times spent with the pet, such as taking the dog for a walk or a time when the cat curled up on your lap.”
Psychologists have long recognised that the grief suffered by pet owners after their pet dies is the same as that experienced after the death of a person.
It may be a different kind of relationship, but a pet is still a friend and the death of a pet means the loss of a non-judgmental source of love.
Throughout the grieving process, people may experience disbelief or shock that their pet is no longer with them, or anger and depression that they are no longer around.
Many people will also experience feelings of guilt, questioning if they did the right thing ending their pet’s suffering and asking themselves what they could have done differently to prevent them becoming ill. These reactions are perfectly normal and the heartache usually eases over time.
After this happens, owners can find comfort in commemorating the life of their pet.
Some people produce a photo album or compile a video as a record of memories of time spent with their pet.
Looking at pictures of the animal, telling favourite stories or private memories, writing a poem about the pet or even erecting a small plaque or memorial in the pet’s honour are all ways that the loss of a pet can be marked and respected.
The loss of a pet can be a shocking blow to both human family members and other pets in the household as well. While it may be tempting to rush out and find a new pet to fill the hole left by the old one, it is generally recommended that families wait a little while to give themselves time to grieve.
Stuart adds: “It is important that people don’t just run out and buy a new pet.
“Sometimes, for people who don’t have any family that is the right thing.
“But I would say people should always speak to the vet and get advice on what type of pet would be best for them.”
Rather than attempting to replace a deceased pet, a new pet should only be selected on his or her own merit and welcomed, accepted and loved for his or her own personality and characteristics.
If and when a family is ready for a new pet, considering an animal rescued by an animal charity or hospital is one way to help ensure that all animals are afforded a warm, loving home.
Further information about the work of the PDSA animal charity can be found at
www.pdsa.org.uk 